Understanding Love Through Physics

Love seems to be a common phenomenon, yet notoriously difficult to understand. However, I seek to use models from physics to explain it. The application of these models was based heavily on experimental observations. However it still required the modeling of people as different particles. Fortunately, this assumption was matched by real world comparisons. Strong evidence for the ‘standard model of love’.

Couples are tightly bound together, but it is often confusing as to how this is. Often one of them has a crippling flaw, (such as being a chemist) that should force the two apart, yet they remain inseparable. Furthermore anyone trying to become a couple with someone usually experiences deflection.  This lead to the idea of the existence of a second force that balanced out the repulsive force. It was soon realised that this was comparable to the coulomb repulsion and the strong nuclear force.

This model required all people to be thought of as protons in their, so-called, ‘single’ state. This correlated well with observation, for single people are often highly charged. But if people are protons, then in order to bond with another, they need to have high energies, in layman’s terms they would need to be ‘hot’. This correlates well with reality.

How hot the people would need to be to form couples was found to be way in excess of what would be needed to generate the amount of couples we see today. Fortunately, the phenomenon of beer-goggle tunnelling was applied. This allows people to ignore the strong repulsion that would normally be seen.

As with the particles, this interaction often collapses quickly, experiments put the average lifespan of these bindings at around a few hours. These are usually observed as ‘One-night-stands’. However, in rare occasions one of the couple will transform into a neutron. Neutrons do not experience the coulomb repulsion, which is why a lot of people in a relationship seem completely oblivious to their partner’s flaws, even to the state of insisting that they “don’t look fat in that dress” when impartial observers would determine that they do.

The ‘fusing’ together of people into relationships requires the similar extremes that hydrogen fusion needs. Indeed, bars and nightclubs can be considered the stars of love. The dense packing of people and the amplified beer-google tunnelling effect in these places turns a what would be a rare, beautiful occurrence into a triviality, a mere consequence of large numbers.

When break-ups happen, there are particle analogies. The ‘neutron’ will decay back into a proton, for in its single state it is unstable. However it can also disturb other relationships, depending on how high energy the break-up was.

We began by modeling everyone as protons, but we also required neutrons to make the model work. In reality there are people who don’t fit under either label. The model can be expanded to include them. For instance there exist so-called ‘neutrino personalities’. People who have never experienced the forces of love or repulsion and only weakly interact with others.  They move throughout the universe, forever cold and alone. Hoping to find someone but knowing that their chances of any interaction are slim and that there is nothing they can do about it becaus…..

I have said too much.


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